Lost In The Supermarket

There was a time I couldn’t understand why some women defined “shopping” as “recreation “.   Walking through stores, pondering the choices and possibilities, maybe actually buying something – it all lacks functionality.

Men look at shopping as functional.  It’s a chore, like laundry and the dishes.  You do it because it’s necessary, not because it’s fun.  Their idea of passing time has nothing to do with doorbuster sales, markdowns, or any kind of shoes.  Men would much rather construct/deconstruct something.  The ends result must have practical value.  It must have a purpose.   Women. of course, will disagree.  For them, shopping does have a purpose.  It’s the thrill of the bargain – finding that deep discount or markdown.  The practicality lies in the new outfit, accessory or pair of shoes that become part of their fashion arsenal.

If you ever witness the man-woman shopping ritual, you’ll observe the bored, exasperated, and somewhat agitated look on the man’s face.  He gets stuck holding the bag – literally.  The handbag, the bag of booty from other stores – he gets to hold it all.  That’s not much fun.  Neither is the critical feedback the woman wants.  If you have to honestly answer, “Honey, does this make me look fat?”, the relationship wouldn’t last long afterwards. 

Last week, I was blessed with discretionary income.  Money that wasn’t earmarked for bills, rent, groceries or gas – spending money, walking around money, money I could spend on anything I wanted.  These are rare times, times that usually coincide with a birthday or  Christmas, when you can engage in frivolous consumerism.  You scan the brain for those objects of your desire – books, music, good pad Thai, a movie, but somehow you can’t conjure up anything. 

The first place I usually go is my favorite music store.  This visit was preempted by a local police office; lone justice on a Friday afternoon.  You’d think there were more pressing legal matters on hand other than failure to stop at an intersection (No Right On Red).  Once inside, I was immediately overcome with a lack of purpose.   Why was I there?  Nothing seemed appealing or remotely interesting.  I then began to browse, aimlessly wandering up and down the aisles.  Nothing I picked up had immediate interest to me.  The anticipation of hearing new music for the first time was abscent.

This hasn’t been the only time this has happened to me.  I will go into a store, thinking there is something I need or want, only to find myself wandering and not making a purchase.  It’s as if I am looking for something, anything that holds meaning but finding nothing that satisfies my needs.  What am I really shopping for?  I am looking for something to fill a void in my soul.  I’m looking for fulfillment that doesn’t come from material goods. 

I have consciously avoided dating.  My rationale being that I have nothing to offer a woman – at least what a woman wants.  I recognize this is self-imposed, this character asessment, audit of potential financial feasibility – whatever you want to call it.  I don’t have what it takes to make it work.  Go ahead, pull out your hair and scream at the screen – I am an idiot for believing this to be true or real.   It’s not that I believe it.  I understand that there are certain requirements to dating/relationships.  One of those requirements is to have enough financial stability to sustain the relationship.  Women want to go places and do things.  They want to whisked off for a weekend getaway.   Sorry, I can’t help you there.

Prove me wrong.  I know that one person tells me that’s not what all women want.  I need to hear from more than one person.

This entry was posted in Browsing, Choices, Connected, Intimacy, Life, Me, Men, Money, Musings, Ramblings, Relationships, Shopping, Single, Thoughts, Traffic, Women. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Lost In The Supermarket

  1. Marge says:

    you are wrong on a couple of things here
    one is, not all women like to grocery shop or shop at all.
    I am one of those women!
    I would rather shop via the internet than get out among the crowds of inconsiderate people to fight the masses……

    as for having nothing to offer a woman.
    You just haven’t found the right woman yet.
    I have no doubt she is out there.

    Sometimes these things happen when you aren’t even looking for them to happen.
    Believe in yourself.
    Only you can do that, believe in yourself.
    She will come to you, maybe not tomorrow, or next week, but I do believe she is out there.
    you need to just have yourself ready with open arms to recieve her when she does walk into your life!

  2. megawfa79 says:

    I realize that I made a gross generalisation. Yes, all women are not that way. My apologies to all the at-home shoppers.
    I am beginning to lose patience or hope in the dating process. I think I’ve set my sights at little too high. I shouldn’t be thinking about the next Mrs. Middle-Aged Head, nor should I be thinking about finding someone to fill the now-vacant shoes of My Love. I want to find someone who understands who I am and will take what they see. I don’t wanted to be made-over or taken care of. What I want is someone to share Life.
    You wouldn’t happen to have a crystal ball to predit my future. Hell, if you did have one, you’d be looking at your own future.

  3. megawfa79 says:

    I find it interesting that we both share words of encouragement with each other, but have trouble doing the same for ourselves. Hmmmm

  4. Marge says:

    I think it is quite easy to be on the outside looking in and being able to help or try and “Fix” the problem with a friend
    It pains me to think you have so little faith, and maybe that isn’t even the right way to put it, but it pains me that you are so discouraged when it comes to finding a significant other/girlfriend/lover/etc……
    You are right, you shouldn’t have to make yourself over or have someone take care of you.
    You need an equal…a partner….someone to love and cherish you like you will love and cherish her.

    working on my problems or you working on yours, isn’t always that easy because we can’t walk away from them and be able to have a unbiased opinion……….the things that get us down or are ‘problems’ seem like a ton of bricks on the shoulders at times (or at least that is the way it is for me)
    and that makes it hard to figure it out………

    No I don’t have a crystal ball….but I do have faith…..
    I am betting your new woman friend will show up when you aren’t even looking.

    Keep believing in you.
    I believe it will happen for you!!

  5. Marge says:

    okay really, it has been two and a half weeks since you have written!
    I check this daily and every day I am disappointed!
    So do me a favor and write something!!!!!

    • megawfa79 says:

      Hang on, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’ve got stuff coming. Lately, I haven’t had the ambition (or inclination) to write. Sorry to disappoint.

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