Head Up, Heart Open

We all have epiphanies.  They are the reminders from The Universe,  that reveal to us those things that need our attention.  Sometimes it’s a simple solution to a challenge, other times it’s that Cosmic Dope Slap we need now and then.  These epiphanies help us to see clearer and to recognize that a change needs to be made.

The epiphany that I experienced was something I had ignored for a long time:  it’s time to move on.

Alright, now he gets it.

It’s similar to what Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz” discovered, that I had the power all along.  I have the tools to move forward in my life.  I have a blank canvas to fill with colors, experiences, people, emotions…anything I want to help me make my life.  But I am lacking in one key element that will pull it all together:  no fear.

Here I go:   there are times when I am afraid to move forward because the future is uncertain.  I realize that is a bad excuse, but sometimes I am afraid.  I was afraid of losing My Love, and I hung onto the notion that My Love would come back and we could make start over.  It was because of that fear that I clung to the last shred of hope, thinking things would be different and believing that I was the cause of our separation.  It had nothing to do with how much money I made and everything to do with her own demons.  It had nothing to do with leaving me behind, and everything to do with loving and caring so much about me.  She loved me too much.   Unfortunately, I can’t move forward until I let her go.  I have to let go, throwing my arms open and falling forward, trusting that I will fly and not fall.  She will be there, but not in a way I want her to be.

I would guess that I haven’t been thinking rationally.  Yeah, but who thinks rationally when it comes to matters of the heart?  I need to learn to trust myself.  I need to understand that not every relationship ends in drawn out, painful way. 

Now that’s what I call an epiphany.

This entry was posted in Choices, Connected, Cosmic Dope Slap, Epiphany, Experiences, Feelings, Healing, Honesty, Intimacy, Life, Me, Pain, Possibilities, Ramblings, Reflections, Relationships, Sadness, The Universe, Thoughts, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Head Up, Heart Open

  1. liannemaddox says:

    I love that you are following the injunction to “Know Thyself.” There is nothing like raw pain to turn us inward, but what we find there is nothing short of our own salvation. God bless Your Love for coming into your life long enough to awaken you. Don’t fall asleep now and try to relive a dream that has served its purpose. Bless her name for scratching awareness across your heart and move forward in the understanding that you do indeed have the power that was useless before awakening to it. This is the power that will replace fear as you embrace it. Life has taken care of you since birth and will continue to do so whether you are conscious of it or not. That knowledge alone has the potential to create fearlessness.
    Thank you for sharing your epiphany. I wish you well.

    • megawfa79 says:

      Thank you for those kind words. It has taken me awhile to realize how much of an impact she’s had on my life. I am so grateful for the gifts she’s given. Now it’s time to move ahead, live life and love again. I encourage you to read more posts to get an understanding of what I’ve been through.

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