Haven’t I Seen You In Here Before

I have been told by a friend that I need to get laid.

She lives in Colorado.  We met when she lived with her parents here in Maine, and was singing in choir.  I guess her mother was trying to hook us up.  She is 27, I am 49.  You do the math.  Younger women, at least women that are old enough to be a daughter, are not my style.

She knew about My Love and our break-up, and wanted to know if there was anyone in my life.  I explained I was holding back from dating.  She then inquired if I was getting laid, to which I replied, “no, I’m not really looking”.  I then explained that I was channeling my energy into writing erotica.  “No,” she said, “you gotta get laid.”

Do I?  I’ll be honest, my confidence has hit an all-time low when I comes to matters of the heart.  I am not prepared for the dating game.  I am not prepared for possible rejection.  It has nothing to do with my looks and everything to do with economics:  I am not prepared financially to date.  After My Love broke off our relationship, I’ve been hesitant to face that kind of scrutiny. 

I had a session with The Shrink  yesterday.  He agrees; there will be women who will judge me by how much I made.  He told me about his good friend, worked for IBM and made good money.  He lost his job and his wife field for divorce, saying that she didn’t want to make more money than him.

How pathetic is it that some people judge our worth by our bank accounts.  A fellow writer and friend in Minnesota said that women there would be all over me.  I have a steady job, pay my own bills, and don’t wear camoflage clothing.  As silly as that may sound, it’s nice to know that my character takes precident, not my net worth. 

Still, the issue at hand is, “will I ever get laid?”  Maybe.

I suppose I can start cruising the bars, but someone my age, picking up women in bars, is sad.  Besides, I was never good at “the pickup”.  Too many expectations from too many women.  It’s unrealistic to approach a women and say, “Hi, my name is…… You’re a goreous woman, I’d like to get to know you better, then go back to your place and have sex with  no strings attached.  It’s all about mutual fulfillment.”

I can feel the hand on my face and the whiplash of my head sent spinning.  Sorry.

I never learned to pick up girls in bars.  I was always the “wing man”, great support without the thanks.  I never got the skills necessary.

This entry was posted in Browsing, Dating, Experiences, Feelings, Getting Laid, Intimacy, Life, Loneliness, Love, Me, Musings, Ramblings, Romantic, Sex, Single, The Shrink, Thoughts, What Women Want, Women. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Haven’t I Seen You In Here Before

  1. kschieff says:

    I don’t know Brad. I’m with your 27 year old friend. I think you need to get laid. And fyi, you are capable of doing the “pick up.” And if you have to, move to Minnesota. But it seems to me that if it can work in Minnesota, it can work in Maine.

  2. Marge says:

    any woman who finds interest in you because of your bank account isn’t worth the time or effort from you.
    You need to believe in yourself!
    As far as I am concerned as long as you bathe regularly, and are polite, considerate, honest and trustworthy and don’t swear in every other word you say, you have over half the male population in this country beat!
    Just be yourself and one day, it will happen.
    As for just getting laid, I guess that depends on how badly you want that unemotional, one night stand.

    • megawfa79 says:

      We’ll have to agree to disagree on this.
      I agree that not all women are concerned about the bank account. As frustrating as it is, I know someone will come along for me.
      I disagree about the unemotional one-night stand. Yes, it doesn’t have the depth of meaning that happens with people in a commited relationship. But my generation isn’t satisfied to wait for the right person. If you have two compatible and consenting adults, there’s nothing wrong.

  3. Marge says:

    oh please don’t think I think there is anything wrong with a one night stand!
    of course there isn’t!
    As long as the two people doing it are all for it.
    I’m sorry if I came across as thinking that.
    I personally wouldn’t want to be involved in something like that but not because I think I am too good for it, but because getting laid to me isn’t what it is all about.
    It is making love and will always be making love to me.
    And if it isn’t making love, then what is the point?
    However, I haven’t walked in your shoes or anyone else’s who needs to get laid and is willing for the one night stand.
    So please don’t think I am judging.
    I’m not.
    It just isn’t something I would want to do
    no hard feelings on my end and I hope I didn’t offend you!

  4. Oh for fuck sakes! just go out, have a stiff drink and get laid. Get all that energy out there, have a great night, enjoy it, frolic and maybe then you won’t come across as “broken when you do meet the “long term potential”.

    I am sorry if this comes across a tad tough love in it’s tone – but to me … the most unattractive thing in a man is the smell of self pity, fear of rejection and doubt. Makes me recoil. Says “one step away from desperation” to my brain.

    No matter what you look like, if you own the space, without being obnoxious, you will have a woman’s attention in 5 min flat. Women are basically still wired the same way – Is he a MAN. A great smile, confidence and compassion add to irresistible charisma … and THAT is the royal flush.

    PS – I have my own money so … not an issue. Perhaps you should look at that kind of woman.

  5. auntysocial says:

    I’d be cautious about taking advice from a guy who could make such a piss poor choice of partner!!!

    I’m also tempted to think you shouldn’t be going out and getting laid – nor do I think you should be cruising bars, meeting women or doing anything that is planned and requires conscious effort on your part.

    Things always turn up and bite us right on the arse when we’re not looking. Just spend time doing things you enjoy and do not include sex, love or romance in any plans. 🙂

  6. alewifecove says:

    Ever think of Craig’s List?

    Go get laid! What is the big issue?

    Stop over analyzing EVERYTHING in life. It is not worth it.

    Oh, and one more thing:
    Enough about ‘my love’. It is over and done. You need to move your ass onwards.

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