I have been told by a friend that I need to get laid.
She lives in Colorado. We met when she lived with her parents here in Maine, and was singing in choir. I guess her mother was trying to hook us up. She is 27, I am 49. You do the math. Younger women, at least women that are old enough to be a daughter, are not my style.
She knew about My Love and our break-up, and wanted to know if there was anyone in my life. I explained I was holding back from dating. She then inquired if I was getting laid, to which I replied, “no, I’m not really looking”. I then explained that I was channeling my energy into writing erotica. “No,” she said, “you gotta get laid.”
Do I? I’ll be honest, my confidence has hit an all-time low when I comes to matters of the heart. I am not prepared for the dating game. I am not prepared for possible rejection. It has nothing to do with my looks and everything to do with economics: I am not prepared financially to date. After My Love broke off our relationship, I’ve been hesitant to face that kind of scrutiny.
I had a session with The Shrink yesterday. He agrees; there will be women who will judge me by how much I made. He told me about his good friend, worked for IBM and made good money. He lost his job and his wife field for divorce, saying that she didn’t want to make more money than him.
How pathetic is it that some people judge our worth by our bank accounts. A fellow writer and friend in Minnesota said that women there would be all over me. I have a steady job, pay my own bills, and don’t wear camoflage clothing. As silly as that may sound, it’s nice to know that my character takes precident, not my net worth.
Still, the issue at hand is, “will I ever get laid?” Maybe.
I suppose I can start cruising the bars, but someone my age, picking up women in bars, is sad. Besides, I was never good at “the pickup”. Too many expectations from too many women. It’s unrealistic to approach a women and say, “Hi, my name is…… You’re a goreous woman, I’d like to get to know you better, then go back to your place and have sex with no strings attached. It’s all about mutual fulfillment.”
I can feel the hand on my face and the whiplash of my head sent spinning. Sorry.
I never learned to pick up girls in bars. I was always the “wing man”, great support without the thanks. I never got the skills necessary.