I just came out of my hole.

The majority of the day was spent in My Hole In The Ground (a.k.a. my apartment).  Woke up at 6am – on my day off.  Whatever happened to sleeping in?

I didn’t want to go anywhere.  I didn’t want to do the housework I should’ve been doing or the laundry.  I spent most of the day in the Man Cave.

The Man Cave is a small room off the kitchen where I keep my computer, most of my CDs and vinyl records, and some dry goods for cooking.  I have two file cabinets with a piece of furniture-grade plywood for my desktop.  The work surface is cluttered with papers, CDs and other assorted stuff.  I will go on the record that I am not a neat and organized person.  Drop and go.  I really should take the few extra seconds to put stuff in place, but no.

I like to spend quiet time in the Man Cave.  Usually after work I’ll sit in there and try to collect myself after the day.  Along with being a slob, I also procrastinate.  But I am getting better at sticking to task and getting it done.  To help me, I’ll put on some music, crank it up and get to work.

I don’t have internet.  That’s why I spend so much time at the library.  Free is a wonderful thing, even if it’s only an hour a day.  If I had internet at home, I’d probably never see the light of day.

Today, I also did some clipping.  I take old magazines and cut out words and phrases.  I like to make collages for birthday cards, valentines and everyday greetings.  Some of them look like ransom notes, but I try to make them colorful and original.  I am not a big fan of greeting cards.  We should be celebrating the special people of our lives every day, not just on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.  I would rather personalize a greeting.  No, I don’t scrapbook.  This is mini art.

And I did alot of thinking today.  I thought about how to progress into this new phase of my life.  I have already determined I don’t want a relationship.  I don’t want to date.  I need to remain patient and work through this stuff.  Go back and read the posts through the weekend. 

Talk about your Cosmic Dope Slap.

I was a little rough on myself this weekend.  I’ve been grasping at straws with My Love, hoping she’d come back.  Well, it’s false hope. I equate it to grasping for the life preserver and coming up short.  I am the only one that can “rescue” me.  I need to shake off that junk from my past and move forward.  Yes, My Love broke up with me in a cruel way.  I am a good looking guy with many talents.  A good woman would be lucky to have me.  At the moment, I need to take time and heal my wounds and get stronger.  That means dealing with all the residual crap and man up.

Now I just need to convince myself of that.

Okay, that sounds severe, but it’s the only way that I’ll be able to move forward.  I need to take care of myself and do the best with what I’ve got.

This entry was posted in Cosmic Dope Slap, Dating, Moving Forward, My Hole In The Ground, Relationships, The Man Cave. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Chilllin’

  1. maggiemsp says:

    It sounds like you may be heading in the right direction.
    sometimes we have to be severe with ourselves to get past all the gunk.

    By the way, I check your site at least twice a day if not more (Unfortunately you can tell since I am the one from Cedar Rapids Iowa)
    and I don’t think you write too often.
    I like to just go to my site and just write what ever comes to my mind and sometimes it is probably boring as can be, but for me, it can be a chance to vent too.
    Which I think we all need to do.
    So my point here (I really do have one!) is I don’t think you write too often.
    I enjoy reading your thoughts.

  2. megawfa79 says:

    Thanks! Sometimes my heart loses focus, but I think I’m on the right track. As for my writing, I use this forum to take ideas and flesh them out a bit, maybe interject some humor. No one has made a comment that tells me what I should write, so I’ll continue to do as I am now.

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