I just came out of my hole.
The majority of the day was spent in My Hole In The Ground (a.k.a. my apartment). Woke up at 6am – on my day off. Whatever happened to sleeping in?
I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want to do the housework I should’ve been doing or the laundry. I spent most of the day in the Man Cave.
The Man Cave is a small room off the kitchen where I keep my computer, most of my CDs and vinyl records, and some dry goods for cooking. I have two file cabinets with a piece of furniture-grade plywood for my desktop. The work surface is cluttered with papers, CDs and other assorted stuff. I will go on the record that I am not a neat and organized person. Drop and go. I really should take the few extra seconds to put stuff in place, but no.
I like to spend quiet time in the Man Cave. Usually after work I’ll sit in there and try to collect myself after the day. Along with being a slob, I also procrastinate. But I am getting better at sticking to task and getting it done. To help me, I’ll put on some music, crank it up and get to work.
I don’t have internet. That’s why I spend so much time at the library. Free is a wonderful thing, even if it’s only an hour a day. If I had internet at home, I’d probably never see the light of day.
Today, I also did some clipping. I take old magazines and cut out words and phrases. I like to make collages for birthday cards, valentines and everyday greetings. Some of them look like ransom notes, but I try to make them colorful and original. I am not a big fan of greeting cards. We should be celebrating the special people of our lives every day, not just on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. I would rather personalize a greeting. No, I don’t scrapbook. This is mini art.
And I did alot of thinking today. I thought about how to progress into this new phase of my life. I have already determined I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to date. I need to remain patient and work through this stuff. Go back and read the posts through the weekend.
Talk about your Cosmic Dope Slap.
I was a little rough on myself this weekend. I’ve been grasping at straws with My Love, hoping she’d come back. Well, it’s false hope. I equate it to grasping for the life preserver and coming up short. I am the only one that can “rescue” me. I need to shake off that junk from my past and move forward. Yes, My Love broke up with me in a cruel way. I am a good looking guy with many talents. A good woman would be lucky to have me. At the moment, I need to take time and heal my wounds and get stronger. That means dealing with all the residual crap and man up.
Now I just need to convince myself of that.
Okay, that sounds severe, but it’s the only way that I’ll be able to move forward. I need to take care of myself and do the best with what I’ve got.