This one’s been rolling around in my brain for most of the weekend.  It’s one of those philosophical questions that reach out and slap you in the face from time to time.  This one comes from a John Grisham novel called “Playing For Pizza”.  More on the plot, but here’s the question:

What am I doing here?

The story concerns a washed-up third-string NFL quarterback, who’s only option is to play in the professional league in Italy.  His world has been completely turned upside-down.  In the process, he begins to learn what life is all about through Italian eyes.  He learns how to live well.

I finished the book in a few hours on Monday and walked away finding something I didn’t expect to find.  I found myself mirroring the main character, and asking myself the same question:

What am I doing here?

My love had sent me a response to some of the posts I had written in these pages.  One of the discoveries she made that we were “very good together but frighteningly stuck”.  What does that mean?  Did it mean our relationship wasn’t progressing the way she hoped?  Did it mean I wasn’t progressing the way she hoped, or was she more concerned about her role?  If we were that good together, it would be a step forward to bring this issue to the table and discuss it as a couple.

My guess is that she was waiting for the shoe to drop.  She had been married twice.  They were short courtships and quick weddings.  Without going into details, both of her ex-’s betrayed her trust and hurt her deeply.  We had two blips on the radar within the context of our relationship.  While most relationships would take the experiences and learn from them, we separated for brief periods.  It’s my guess she did that as a way to reassess the relationship.  They were tow painful periods in our relationship.

Frighteningly stuck?  Can a relationship have those times when it’s necessary to just “be” – taking time and recharging your emotional batteries?  Were we “stuck” in the sense that we weren’t progressing and a couple or as individuals?  Those are valid questions and could very well be applied to My Love and I.

Can you get unstuck?  Is it possible to step back, see the realtiohnshiip for what it is, and make the necessary changes to make the relationshiip vital and interesting?

All questions to be answered at a later time.