I love good live rock and roll.  Last night, I got out and went to see The Wallflowers.  I only knew of the two radio hits, One Headlight and 6th Avenue Heartache, but I knew that these guys were good. I wasn’t disappointed.  These guys put on a great show, lots of music and not much talk.

But I found myself scanning the crowd.  Yes, I was looking for The Woman Who Broke My Heart.

Truely, I do miss her.  I think about her often.  I do it, not because I’m hanging on to the past, but because I truely care about her.  I could tell  her anything.  She was a kind, gentle soul who listened to me in my despair.  I reciprocated by giving her the kindness she deserved.  I gave her the space she needed to sort out her life.  I did it because I understood what it was like to try and figure stuff out on your own.

Before you start coming down on me, saying that I shouldn’t go back to the woman who broke your heart.  I understand your concern, but there’s a lot more going on here.  Some of which I don’t fully understand myself.  One bit is why she just gave up and walked away, just because those new love feelings had waned.  That wasn’t my stuff to understand, but it was no less painful to hear.

Here’s the question I find myself asking:  would you take her back if she asked you to?

Here’s where the conflicting emotions kick in.  It’s been almost three months since we parted.  I have gone through hell and back, and discovered a new dimension of my life.  But there is a big hole that I want to fill.  It may not be the time and place to fill it.  Maybe I need more information.  Maybe I need…..

All I know is that lately, I’ve found myself thinking about moving forward.  I’ve been scared about doing it alone.  I want to share my life with someone, but need to understand that I have to be patient with myself.  I need to be gentle with myself.

I still miss her, The Woman Who Broke My Heart,  and I still love her.  I have never been touched so deeply by anyone else.  Maybe she could become The Woman Who Helped Heal My Heart.

I hope.