I hear you, but I’m not listening

I will rarely use this forum for ranting on my ex-wife.  For the most part, we have agreed to be pleasant to each other.  I don’t expect her to come chatting to me about her social life, but I would like to be able to get beyond small talk.

When I was visiting with the kids on Sunday, I had to return to my apartment to pick up (unexpectantly) some ingredients for dinner.  When I returned, the ex- was sitting on the porch with my son.  I was taken aback to see her because, usually, she takes off before I get there.  But there she was.  Surprised, I said hello with a tone that said, “I didn’t expect to see you today”.  That’s when she started with the 3-word sentences.  It’s a guarantee that she’s angry with me. 

Quick, to the point, “you did something to piss me off, but I’m gonna let you guess what it is.”  I hate that passive-agressive crap!  It’s the reason why I spend all the time in therapy that I did.  I wanted to move forward and become a more effective communicator. 

 She, on the other hand, is still in therapy and still treats me the same as she did when she asked for the divorce.  And if I confront her about this behavior, she turns it all on me, as if I’m the bad guy.

Hey, she asked for the divorce.

But sometimes I get the feeling that she’s having regrets about her decision.  Too bad, honey.  I couldn’t be the man I am right now if it wasn’t for the divorce.  Yes, it’s been painful, but it’s been liberating.